So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
