Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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