You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
