no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
