he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
