yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
