I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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