This girl is more easily done than said...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
