dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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