Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Acid is not a monday night drug
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
