We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
