32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
