is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
