my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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