so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
