Sacagawea was the original milf.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
