No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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