Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
