she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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