I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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