Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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