It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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