You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
