My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
As shirtless as possible
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
