Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
