I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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