I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
