I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
