we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
