I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
