i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
