yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
