Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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