It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
