glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
