4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
