Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
