Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
