I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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