God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
