k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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