Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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