You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
