Will you blow on my dice?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
