My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
