Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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