Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
