dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
