I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
