For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
